A Woman in the Making

“Chennai to get 4 more family courts”, read The Hindu headlines last week. The word ‘family court’ is synonymous to me with just the ‘D’ word. And, it brought back memories of a difficult phase I had been through. It also reminded me of the emotional upheaval that I went through last week (This week, I am coming to terms with it). The entire last week has been physically and emotionally draining: Physical due to a stringent deadline at work and Emotional, as I meant, due to few of my close friends walking the path. For me, it’s been 4 years; for my friends, it has just started—officially. For a few, it’s liberating and for others, it is nothing short of a pain that’s increasing with each passing day.  All this has only increased the number of questions or thoughts in my head; a few are listed below.  So, what is going wrong with our people that we need more family courts? Why are divorce rates increasing? Are we so cruel to each other? Have our expectations ...

So, how is it to treat me as an outcast? How is it to make me feel worthless? How is it to humiliate me? How is it to degrade me? You feel you can do whatever, And I won’t realise? You feel you can treat me however, And I won’t agonise? If you feel I will see you succeed in your foul play, You are on the wrong track. If you feel I will allow you win the day, You are surely wide off mark. I will ensure you fail. I will make you bewail. For I am not here to whine, But definitely to shine.

I am thankful to many opportunities that has made me strong. But also agree that many have left me wounded. Wounded forever. Yesterday was one such day. An incident stuck me hard and hurt me immensely. It pained. It hurt. The negativity, the restlessness, the thought spread faster than a virus in me. It was all horrible and I couldn't bottle it up. I had to get it out of my system to avoid the piercing pain. There are have been people who hurt me before too. I dealt with it in two different ways. Either I absorbed all of it or I walked out of them; but not before I gave it back to them ten times harder. That is me. I have to vent it out. I do not believe in holding it back. Yesterday, it was different. I couldn't address it either of the ways. And, that is why it anguished me even more. I couldn't use the tit for tat method that I strove by all my life. This time I will have to give it back many thresholds harder but without them realizing.  Letting go sol...

When I decided I wanted you My days surrounded you I single-handedly cherished you Nurtured and treasured you Such a sweetheart were you Never was I troubled by you I was me and you were you All thanks to you And then did arrive you Me lying helpless but you Happiness surrounded you My life circumvent you My arms held you My heart filled you My smile meant you I was content with you Life had other plans for you Destined for somebody else was you I struggled to have you But life chose me away from you When I never expected you God gave me you I know I will have you When life introduces me to you

Not everybody gets an opportunity to explore their strengths. I am sure there are many who don’t even know what they are capable of unless thrown into a testing situation. Also there are people who know their capabilities, yet they don’t get an opportunity to exhibit their potentials. Or rather, they played it safe all their lives. I am lucky to have been there and done it; in the bargain, I have gained and lost much. So, who decides if I was right or wrong? Who declares that I have taken the wrong decisions? Who certifies me as a lunatic to have taken the path that I chose? Society? Ok. If it is them, on what parameters do they judge me? And when I say society, I include my immediate family members too; in fact everybody except me. At this point, I would love to quote, ‘Nobody knows my journey.’ I believe in this quote blindfolded. I do not know the parameters on which I am being judged to correct myself. I am not sure the person who is judging me knows or have experienced w...