A Woman in the Making

Mein aapko roz dekhti thi Par aap par nazar kabhi nahin ruki Uss raath andhera tha, sannata tha Paas mein koi nahin tha Tum bole jaa rahe they Hum sochte jaa rahe they Achanak aapki baton se ehsaas hua Ki aap humse apni mohabbat ka izhaar kar rahe ho Apne lafzon mein humein jakad rahe ho Humein zindagi se koi shikayat nahin thi Hum hawa ke saath behne ke liye tayyar they Humein apni bhavishya ki koi parvah nahin thi Akele hi apni duniya mein samas they Aapne apni baton se humare dil ke taaron ko phir se cheda Dil aur dimaag ko sochne par majboor kiya Woh pal bhi kya ajeeb tha, jab aapki nazar humari nazron se mili Humein pata bhi na chala ki kab dimaag dil se haar gaya

I was in love and you wanted to live with me right then. I too longed for you. Wanted to give you all the love. I always wanted a loving family with all the necessary relationships: loving husband, doting kids, understanding in-laws, above all, companionship. I could foresee all this happening if I got married to you. And finally, we married. There was no one around but I was crowded with you besides me. You smiled as soon as we got wedded. That was enough for me to keep going. Days passed. Months passed. Years passed…… Love too passed. Too many things crawled in. Endless shuddering stares, numerous silences, difficult nights. We were together without togetherness. I could make a list of endless missings in our lives: love, care, affection, passion. There was nothing common between us except kids and living under the same roof, for limited hours. I got a new look done, changed my wardrobe, cooked your favourite dishes, watched your kind of movies. But you were oblivious of me. I was...

Itne din tho hum sirf jee hi rahe the Dil ne dhadakna toh aapse milne ke baad seekha Zindagi ne kayi gam diye Humne unhe aasani se pee liye Par ek nasha hum jee hi nahi paa rahe Woh aur kuch nahin, aapke pyar ko Hum dil mein sil hi nahin paa rahe Aap par hum iss tarah fida hain Ki din aur raath ka patha nahin Din aur raath ko chodo Humein toh khud ka patha yaad nahin Zindagi se bas ek shikayath thi Kaash hum aapke dhadkan ban sakthe Aur ab jab ban gaye hain toh phir ek shikayat hai Kaash hum apni saasein bhi aapko de sakthe