The 'D' word


I decided to live alone or rather leave you. I wanted to end this 8 year old relationship. And applied for a divorce. The ‘D’ word that always dreaded me has now become the most important thing in my life. We started the process and filed it in the court. Yet the judge had some faith in our marriage so unlike us that he wanted us to wait for 6 more months to decide if we are for it. You went back to your life and I to mine. 6 months passed and the ‘D’ word came back into my life reminding me that I need to address this issue.

I met you off-court and in court. We were our casual self. We didn’t even realize that our 8 year old investment is going to mature. Is ‘mature’ the right word? No. End. However, we did not see it ending yet. The judge asked us lots of questions. We had two kids to think of. Yet we had decided who is going to have them. All questions answered. All issues addressed. Everyone satisfied. And we signed. It was granted. Papers were due a couple of weeks later. Now, we were no more husband and wife. We shook hands. And you went back to your life and I to mine.

A few days later I visited the same court. Same judge. Same atmosphere. I only had to sign a few papers and take my copy and leave for the day. I was done. I took the papers and realized what I was up for all these months. I wanted to marry this boy and now, I wanted to leave this man! I was free. I was no more anybody’s wife, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law. I was happy but was I? It left me wondering what I did these 8 years? Was I wrong all these 8 years? Wasn’t I happy? Was I always sad? Is this what I was expecting after 8 years of investing my time, energy, emotions?

Along with the papers I was carrying with me those exceptional memories that nobody can steal from me. Sometimes love takes a different turn and gives way to a far more mature relationship. I realized it wasn’t that freedom from you that I wanted but just a meaning to all my 8 years of investment with you. It was those beautiful 8 years that I wanted to cherish and document. Hence, this was the paper that sealed our love forever. I shall treasure this piece of paper the most. At last I understood, divorce is not about parting ways but an opportunity to start another beautiful relationship.

Comments

  1. NithyaDecember 31, 2013 at 12:34 PM

    Well written. So heart breaking. I cried, coz I could feel The breaking up of anything is always painful. Material aspects aside, the affected parties' very core gets shaken. All your beliefs, emotions go through the window, you just don't know what to trust, what to hang on to anymore.

    I am glad you are purging your thoughts dear. You are a strong woman, my dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bharathi BhaskarJune 12, 2014 at 2:51 PM

      Thanks, Nithya! I am trying to come to terms with lot of things. I hope I better learn fast.

      Delete

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