This Year. That Day.

Can you re-live days? Yes.

Can you re-live emotions? Yes.

Can you re-live relationships? Yes.

But, do they move your heart the same way as then? NO.

Is it important that you remember? I think, yes. You should never forget where you started from. Be it a good experience or learning. Re-visiting helps. In many different ways. I have had a history with this day. A decision that I executed on this day changed my life. I stepped out of my parent's home to start living on my own. I eloped with a guy with whom. This step got me away from my family till date. I still do not speak with them and am not married to that guy anymore. Probably I can say a new life started for me at 22.

Till date, I do not regret the decision. Yet for many years, I was an emotional wreck on this day. I would cry the entire day. I wouldn’t get out of my bed. I wouldn’t eat well. The pain of a broken marriage pierced me more than leaving my parents’ house. The pertinent question haunted me – Why Me? By the end of that marriage, I was left with nothing – no parents, no husband, no kids, no finances. I had low self-esteem and zero confidence.

Today I am happy that I can say otherwise. I visit this day objectively. I have rich experiences. I learned things that probably I wouldn’t have learned had I lived an alternate life. I met people from all walks of life. Some have seen me in all phases and am grateful for them to tag along with me for so many years. I lived in ‘one-bed’ rooms, had ‘cringy’ experiences yet one thing that kept me going was I was true to my conscience. I can say that I am proud of myself to have taken the courage to start this ‘new’ life and enrich myself with all these experiences. Today I am happy that I can say otherwise. I visit this day objectively. I have rich experiences. I learned things that probably I wouldn’t have learned had I lived an alternate life. I met people from all walks of life. Some have seen me in all phases and am grateful for them to tag along with me for so many years. I lived in ‘one-bed’ rooms, had ‘cringy’ experiences yet one thing that kept me going was I was true to my conscience. I can say that I am proud of myself to have taken the courage to start this ‘new’ life and enrich myself with all these experiences.

Thankfully, I am not a slave of this day anymore. It doesn’t disturb me as before to remind me of the fact that it taught me to live, manage and learn the ways of ‘adult’ life. Of course, I have not had the best of everything but more on that later. I am definitely not ashamed to have taken this decision as well. For now, let’s bask in the memory of this day and smile a little.

Cheers to me for ‘living’ this day!

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