How is it to... (Post No.12)
I do not know how is it to:
1. Lose an uncle who was very dear to me. He was the probably the first person who played with me during my childhood, who taught me the first letters of English: my first and only best friend till date.
2. Go through rejections in terms of being the girl child, to bring in bad luck in the family, to have been a dark skinned child, to have no interest in household chores, to not comply to the patriarchal way of life.
3. Feel helpless: Helpless while going through physical and mental abuse by people who were my so called 'family'. All these people broke my self worth, self respect, self confidence and finally myself. They tore my will and heart apart.
4. Miss a child: To not be able to feed, feel, pamper, bring-up your flesh and blood knowing that the child isn't even aware of his biological mother and to hear the child call you out as 'aunty'.
5. Be mistreated and ignored: To be treated as if you don't exist for them, yet be answerable. To ignore you and your child, leave your child in the hands of mercy and still expect to behave normal and accountable. To never acknowledge our worth.
So, how is it living with all these experiences in your heart and mind? I would say it is only rewarding and enriching. Nothing can bring you down now. You are ready to laugh it off, face LIFE and rise like a phoenix.
1. Lose an uncle who was very dear to me. He was the probably the first person who played with me during my childhood, who taught me the first letters of English: my first and only best friend till date.
2. Go through rejections in terms of being the girl child, to bring in bad luck in the family, to have been a dark skinned child, to have no interest in household chores, to not comply to the patriarchal way of life.
3. Feel helpless: Helpless while going through physical and mental abuse by people who were my so called 'family'. All these people broke my self worth, self respect, self confidence and finally myself. They tore my will and heart apart.
4. Miss a child: To not be able to feed, feel, pamper, bring-up your flesh and blood knowing that the child isn't even aware of his biological mother and to hear the child call you out as 'aunty'.
5. Be mistreated and ignored: To be treated as if you don't exist for them, yet be answerable. To ignore you and your child, leave your child in the hands of mercy and still expect to behave normal and accountable. To never acknowledge our worth.
So, how is it living with all these experiences in your heart and mind? I would say it is only rewarding and enriching. Nothing can bring you down now. You are ready to laugh it off, face LIFE and rise like a phoenix.
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